Romance
All women in 19th Century England were expected to marry, but, according census figures during the time, there were far more women than men. This made finding a husband a ferocious competition.
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Although women were forced to spend their entire young lives looking for husbands they were not permitted to be obvious about it. A woman who seemed to "forward" in the company of men was thought to have a "worrying sexual appetite".
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It was assumed that women desired marriage because they desired motherhood, rather than sex. One doctor, William Acton, said, "The majority of women (happily for them) are not very much troubled with sexual feeling of any kind".
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While a woman in good standing could not speak to a man without a married woman present, let alone have sex before marriage, many respectable young men turned to prostitutes to satisfy their sexual appetites before and often during marriage.
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Writers like Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen challenged this sexless view of women in their novels, scandalizing many readers in their time.
Double Standards
The Process
After spending their entire adolescent lives learning how to be the ideal wife, young women "came out". Coming out meant that a woman, typically 17 or 18, had completed her education and was officially available. Once "out" a girl would begin her social life, leaving the house only when accompanied by a family member or married woman.
Courtship itself took place in three stages, first, speaking, then walking together, and finally maintaining company after mutual attraction had been confirmed. Skipping any steps in this process was seen as scandalous.
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A single woman was forbidden to start conversation with a man. A man could not approach a single woman without first being introduced by a mutual acquaintance. It's a wonder anyone ever fell in love.
Women were usually married in their early to mid-20s, typically to a groom 5 years older. This was likely because a man needed to prove he was in good financial standing before a girl's father would allow him to propose marriage. Once married, all the woman's property and wealth would be passed over to her husband. Therefore, the whole courting process was mostly a business transaction for a male suitor.