Language, Family and Assimilation

Exploring the experience of second-generation immigrants

Moments of Tagalog in this reading will not be translated via subtitles for our audience. This is entirely intentional to reflect the experience of second or third-generation immigrants who do not fluently speak their heritage language.

Language Loss

Language loss can occur at both the familial and community-wide level. According to linguistic studies, a family typically loses a heritage language by the third generation when living in a new country, meaning that the grandchildren of immigrants will likely not speak the ancestral language fluently.

The language dynamic within an immigrant family can have a significant impact on intrafamilial relationships. Scholars have described immigrant families as "a meeting ground for two competing languages.”

When children are fluently bilingual, it helps to maintain a positive parent-child relationship. However, children acquire a new language faster than adults and are often influenced to speak primarily or only English whether by their parents or societal pressures to assimilate. If a child speaks only or primarily English, and the parent primarily speaks another language, it often leads to a breakdown of intrafamily communication causing children to lose respect for their parents' authority.

When bilingual children act as language brokers between their family and others it can lead to parentification and role reversal, where the child becomes the authority figure.

Immigration and Family

The normative family experience becomes disrupted by immigration, even if emigration is chosen rather than forced. Parents may respond to this disequilibrium by either being open to elements of the new culture or being reticent and seeking refuge in heritage cultural norms and practices. Normative generational conflicts can be exacerbated by the cultural gap and the differing rates of acculturation among family members.

Immigrant families can adapt to their surrounding culture in one of three ways: consonant, dissonant, and selective acculturation. In consonant acculturation, parents and children adapt to American culture quickly and simultaneously. Dissonant acculturation occurs when children assimilate faster than parents, potentially undermining parental authority. Selective acculturation occurs when both parents and children gradually learn American ways while remaining embedded in their ethnic community. This third type of acculturation most often preserves parental authority and promotes bilingualism.

Filipino Family Dynamics

Filipino families often maintain multi-generational households, where three or more generations live together, pooling resources, as Lolo suggests in Blood of My Mother's.

Although externally patriarchal, mothers and fathers have a shared authority in the family structure. Women are held in high regard for their ability to manage money and a household.

Outside of the family, authority is determined first by age, then by education or influence, and lastly by economic status.

The family is considered the cornerstone of social relations and identity. The welfare of the family is valued over that of the individual, meaning that every individual's actions should be for the betterment of the family.

Filipino culture includes several core values that do not have a direct English translation including:

hiya: shame, governed by the notion that the goal of the individual is to represent oneself or one's family in the most honorable way
utang na loob: an obligation to appropriately repay a person who has done you a favor
amor propio: having a sense of self-worth and pride, and not allowing oneself to be belittled or demeaned by others
pakikisama: prioritizing the collective good, promoting unity, and setting aside differences

American Family Dynamics

American families have very different values including individualism, independence, and shared household responsibilities. Americans are expected to be self-reliant and children are encouraged to pursue their own goals, even if they differ from familial expectations. The most common American family structure is the nuclear family which consists of two parents and their children. The extended family lives separately including elderly grandparents.